Texts of General Interest (link)
Dr. James Manos (MD)
Etiquette TIPS!
July 18, 2019
Etiquette TIPS!
Image (public domain): A Club of Gentlemen. Painter: Joseph Highmore (1692–1780). Uploaded by the user: DcoetzeeBot. Source: Wikipedia. Link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Joseph_Highmore_-_A_Club_of_Gentlemen_-_Google_Art_Project.jpg
Preface
Nowadays, the American
subculture has prevailed, displacing British courteousness. Today, all over the world, many people are 'Americanized,'
adopting relatively rude or at least non-formal behavior of 'urban' (or
sometimes even ghetto) style! Undoubtedly, many individuals lack good manners. Often impudence is challenging to correct when it has become a bad habit from
early childhood! Rudeness is primarily a matter of family upbringing.
TIPS for
good behavior.
• You should not smoke
in public and non-smoking areas.
• You should not be rude
to other drivers while driving your car, which is not unusual. Brawls
between drivers have sometimes ended in murders.
• You should not shout
when talking to others. Also, avoid the childish words 'bad' and 'I hate.'
• Use the words
''shall/should'' or ''need to'' instead of ''must,'' which is more imperative as
if you were a sergeant in the army!
• When you meet someone
for the first time, it is rude to show intimacy and ask private questions. The
same is true when it involves people you do not know well.
• You should not gossip
about others, especially your friends!
• When chatting with
someone, always be polite and do not refer to contentious issues such as
religion, politics, and race. You may talk about general matters such as the
weather!
• You should not discuss religion with people of different doctrines, denominations, or atheists.
Be respectful of the faith, atheism, or skepticism of others.
• You should not talk
about politics. Not everyone will agree with your political view, so
do not put people in an awkward position. Even when discussing politics, you
should not say trite phrases such as "politicians are thieves." By casting their vote, the people are responsible for electing them!
• You should not make
intimate questions but instead adopt a 'general speaking' mode.
• You should not
interfere with others' private matters.
• Dress up stylishly,
especially at work. Your outfit is the first impression you give. Your clothes
should be appropriate for the circumstances. For instance, you should avoid
wearing jeans at work. A white-collar outfit for office jobs would be
more appropriate.
• If you are a man, you should be shaved or with your beard trimmed (unless
you have a long beard) in a formal visit or at work.
• If you are a man, you
should not grab your crotch publicly and avoid leg-spreading in public
transportation. Some men do these subconsciously or deliberately, aiming
to show their masculinity!
• When you eat at a
public place or at home, you should not touch your elbows on the table and should not chew with your mouth open like an animal!
• Even with friends,
avoid using slang and vulgar words.
• If you are a man, you
should always be courteous to a woman showing the expected 'chivalry.' For
example, you should open the car door to a woman, offer her a chair to sit in a
restaurant before you sit first, etc.
• When you are sitting
in a restaurant, and someone approaches your table to speak to you, you should stand
up. Do the same when the 'guest' leaves your table. That is especially
important when your date enters the restaurant or your home for lunch or
dinner!
• Add quality to your
life. For example, you may visit a theater, or concert hall, watch a documentary, or listen to good quality music instead of reveling and drinking beers. Avoid squandering
your time!
• You should not use 'gender-biased language as if all people are males, but always say "he or
she" or ''they''. Also, be politically correct, at least in public, even
if you act!
• You should not try to
impose your opinion as most people do. Talking means exchanging views with
your interlocutor instead of saying a 'monologue,' your story, without letting
the others speak!
• In a chat, you should
not be stubborn, 'headstrong,' and absolute. Avoid getting your way, as this
shows you are selfish and egocentric. Learn to listen to other opinions and
respect them. Avoid persistently passing your point of view and not paying
attention to what others say. Avoid speaking all the time about yourself.
Often in conversations, we listen to the words ''me'', and ''I
continuously," as people always refer to their own experiences and
views! Also, avoid interrupting others when you talk.
• You should not
monopolize the speech in a conversation. Let the others
speak equally. It shows selfishness.
• You should not
interrupt others when they speak, something that many do, even politicians. Let
them finish first!
• Use "could you please" even with a close relative. For instance, it would
be more polite to say, "Mother, could you please bring me a glass of
water?" In the
above example, when your mother brings you a glass of water, you should
say to her, ''thank you!''
• Say "thank you" for a gift or a gentle gesture.
• You should not try to
park your car everywhere, even in inappropriate places. Prefer a parking lot.
• You should not take
someone else's place when standing in a line in a public place like a public
utility service or a bank.
• You should not brag
about your ancestors, hometown, race, financial status, etc.
Remember that you cannot take your fortune together when you leave this vain world!
• You should not be
biased about your country, and you should not be historically inaccurate.
• Confucius said, ''don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto
you!'' It is an excellent social skill!
• Be polite with others because this is a good reason for them to behave accordingly!
• In a conversation, you
should not need to 'report' everything you watched on TV or came across on the
internet, as often these are of little interest or low quality.
• You may often need to analyze people to guess their real intentions, as they may not mean what they're saying! Many times, someone
may show courtesy even when they do not mean it. For example, someone may
say, "Whenever you want, you can call me/ come to my house for
dinner."
• You should not judge others behind their backs. "Do not judge, and
you will not be judged!"
• If you have a dog, be careful when emptying its bowels on the street or at the park to
collect the stool in a plastic bag and dispose of it in the trash.
• When buying or
adopting a dog or kitten, you should not dump it on the street when you or your
children get bored of it as if it were a toy.
• You should not spit on
the street, as people of some cultures do.
• You should not speak
negatively about colleagues to degrade them. Show respect and subtlety.
• Let an expert guide you before you
become a self-expert! Today, everyone has an opinion about everything, especially by usually reading biased or low scientific quality information on the web.
Epilogue
Always be polite to
others. Even if this is an excellent performance! You should not treat others the way you do not like to be treated.
Importantly, be subtle!
Thanks for reading!
